Shahadat Rahman
English 21003
Professor Nargiza
Matyakubova
14 November, 2017
Reflection on Draft
The
second draft of this assignment helped me refine certain points that were
already made as well as create new points. When reviewing my first draft, I
noticed there were several critical flaws in my abstract. My abstract was more
of a summary—I went in to too much detail discussing the points of the essay
rather than covering the significance of the topic and the results found. As a
result, I completely restructured my abstract. This also led me to review
several paragraphs I had already written, including a body paragraph depicting
my personal experiences. I realized I failed to vary my sentence structures and
use vivid adjectives, making my writing dull and boring. I fixed this by adding
in what I knew was missing and reading the paragraph several times to make sure
it invoked ethos.
This
assignment also helped me decide when to use my interviews. The interviews
provided a wealth of information, but not all of it was necessary. The
challenge was deciding when to use the information from my interview and
discovering where it would be most effective. There are also a plethora of
sources available on healthcare and its implications, but most of them provide
only statistics. Although these are helpful and give a form of credibility,
they provide little emotional appeal. That is why I turned to personal
interviews. They are primary sources that provide credibility and they are also
able to provide emotional appeal.
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